Don’t be someone that is only anti things. You need to be for something, have some interests.

I think this is something that plagues my generation and I see it extending to the younger generations – albeit in different ways. I think we sort of picked up some inherited cynicism from our parents, and then it festered as the world turned out to not be what we were told it was. On my 3rd once-in-a-lifetime financial crisis and probably more to go! Wheeeee! Then again, the world never is what you’re told it is. Everybody is pretty much making it up as they go. I can’t even tell you how many times I heard “if you don’t go to college you’ll end up being a trash man” throughout my young life. I think about it now, that is a steady stable job with benefits that pays pretty decent.

If you are just against things and never really become for/interested in something then you probably feel empty and a bit like a boat without a motor/sail… or a plastic bag (WTF does that even mean?). Possibly, and hear me out, someone that life motorboats and you are legit not having a good time. Life should ask for consent first, but it doesn’t care. People without interests and goals get used by people with interest and goals. You can take that golden turd to the bank.

Being anti was something I struggled with earlier in my life. I wanted to be a pilot growing up, then I was told that pilots crash and I would certainly die. I loved reading as a kid, only to be told that I was wasting my youth and missing out on life. I became obsessed with music early on, only to be called gay or weird for liking various bands/music styles (I had a giant crush on Ginger spice growing up). It seemed anything I enjoyed or was interested in was a problem. After a few years of this, during my more formative time, I became apathetic, or as people around me said, “laid back.” Nothing really mattered, it just is, man. Only the quick feedback and instant gratification mattered. Who the hell cares about the ACT test, I have parties to go to and girls to hit on! What did it matter, I grew up in a poor rural area, most people didn’t leave. Fuck it.

I got into the real world and quickly discovered that the world does not give two shits about you or what you want. The apathy probably looked like a distorted glistening shield around me. I went to work, because I had to, came home and did nothing. Nothing mattered. I wanted to be a video game designer, then to be told “well game designers work a bajillion hours a week and barely make more than a teacher.” I’ll just drink, hang out with friends, and play video games.

Slowly overtime I relearned how to enjoy things, how to try, and most importantly ignore the cynicism and “anti” mindset. This is part because the internet made it easy for me to connect to other folks, but also because it allowed me to find new information that wasn’t readily available in pre-internet rural America. I started talking to folks that enjoyed solving complex problems (engineers), that were interested in investing, starting businesses, brewing beer (my first level 30+ subclass), traveling, woodworking, etc. After some time when I said I enjoyed [insert thing] and some one replied with “oh that is expensive and a waste of time” I could just reply with, “Well I enjoy it and find it rewarding.” And I genuinely meant it. The conversation usually moved on, but sometimes – sometimes, that person would ask me more questions. After while I realized I made a new friend. That this person went from “eh, no” to “well, maybe” and used my enthusiasm to fuel their initial spark.

People need things to focus on, to put energy into and feel rewarded with. Has someone ever talked with great passion about something that you probably didn’t care about, and you conveyed how lame/silly that thing is? You’re an asshole. A pox upon your genitals! May the furniture in your house always move three inches left or right so you stub your toes!

I’m sure you’ve met people like this. The best I can liken it to is the scene in Hitch where Allegra Cole is talking to the two food snobs, and they find everything disgusting. Hey, they found community in not liking things, but being out right anti anything, especially if someone is interested in something, is super douchey. Like frosted tips, puka necklace, two or more popped collars, and living a consequence free Hamptons-on-the-weekend-life douchey. Enjoying things for the simple reason to shit on them or other people, or not caring to be cool, is devoid of meaning. Teenagers get a pass on this to some extent, because they are always too cool. I got “OK, Boomer”-ed recently because I like brewing beer, and beer is for old people. I’m not a boomer, or remotely close to being a boomer. It was weird. Damn kids.

You, as a human being, need interests. You need something to put your mental energy into that you enjoy and get satisfaction out of. I don’t mean work, I don’t mean kids. You need a hobby, you need something to get those creative juices flowing in all their pulpy glory. You like making fecal Jackson Pollock paintings, that is not my bag but do your thing… in your own house. Please use eye protection, you don’t want double-barrel pink-eye. You like making butter sculptures, get down with your bad self.

Life is hard and can suck. Going through life in all of the ups and downs is really miserable. One of the few things that can really help keep you floating above the shit, give you some energy to keep going the next day, is to find something you can invest yourself into. Don’t just lean into being against things and don’t let your personality become anti effort and cynicism, find something that means something to you that gets you excited and happy. Be for something.